Hi all. Long time; no post. Well, I'm back. And here we go.

I don't mind taking full responsibility to pay all of mama's bills--especially her medical bills, as I wish to see her well cared for and not shunted aside as so much dead meat that can't pay. Well, the clinic where she consults is often irresponsible about getting her bills mailed out. Sometimes, their negligence spurs them to find a collection agency which, of course, gives them mere pennies on the dollar. I have written to the clinic to let them know that I voluntarily pay her bills in full and on time, but to no avail. Here again, a collection agency has purchased one of her bills--one that did not come to the house and which, ergo, I never saw. Below is the text of a smarmy letter I sent to that collection agency today. This is fun!


Saturday, March 16, 2019

NPAS Solutions, LLC.

HCA Settlement Campaign

P.O. Box 2248

Maryland Heights, MO 63043-1048

To the account manager(s) at NPAS:

Regarding the enclosed copy of the bill for Mrs. Whitehead’s medical care at Medical City Las Colinas, on 01/18/2018, please be advised that Mrs. Whitehead is my dependent, resides at my home, and is financially destitute. I voluntarily pay all her living expenses—including her medical bills, which I pay immediately and in full, as soon as they arrive at my home by mail. I see and examine all incoming mail addressed to Mrs. Whitehead, which enables me to be sure that all her bills get paid promptly and fully.

Unfortunately, the billing department at Medical City Las Colinas failed to mail the bill to us for the above-mentioned treatment date; consequently, I was unable to pay it, being unaware of its existence.

Furthermore, and even more unfortunately, you will not be receiving any payment for this debt which you have purchased (most unadvisedly) from Medical City. Mrs. Whitehead lacks the resources to pay it; and, as I do not recognize you as her medical care provider, I will not pay it.

You are welcome to purchase as much of Mrs. Whitehead’s medical debt as you wish, with the understanding that you also wish to covert your enterprise into an eleemosynary organization. If you do not wish to make that conversion, I would advise that you not purchase any more of her debt in the future, but rather leave it up to Medical City (or any other provider that Mrs. Whitehead may consult for her medical care) to be more conscientious and responsible in their billing practices. If any medical providers request that you purchase any future debt incurred by Mrs. Whitehead for medical services, you may want to advise them that an improvement in their billing practices will guarantee that they receive full and prompt payment from me, and that you already know that NPAS will not receive a penny, after having purchased the debt.

In conclusion, thank you so much for paying my (Mrs. Whitehead’) bills for me! This is so kind (albeit foolish) of you!


Michael Whitehead

2916 Lawrence St.

Irving, TX 75061

Hi all!

I had an unusual experience late last month, during the hottest portion of our Texas summer this year. Well, perhaps the experience wasn’t unusual, but rather the way I processed it mentally was unusual. Let me tell you about it.

Background: Sometimes, when I have some food on hand that is totally unfit for human consumption, I prefer to cut/chop/tear it up into tiny pieces and flush it all down the toilet, tiny bit by tiny bit, instead of risking a clogged drain line by running it through the garbage disposer or creating a stench in the kitchen for several days by tossing it into the wastebasket. I know there are other options for getting rid of undesirable food.

  • Freeze it until the morning of trash pick-up day, then throw it into the trash right before the sanitation crew picks it up.
  • Leave it out for neighborhood pets to consume.
  • Eat it, anyway.

But each of those has its own peculiar drawbacks that are unacceptable to me.

In this case, I had to get rid of about two cups of tartar sauce that I had just made. As soon as I tasted it, I realized that I had accidentally used sweet pickle relish instead of dill. Yuck!

Instead of spooning it into the toilet and flushing it down just a tiny bit at a time, I scooped the whole thing in at once and flushed. Since tartar sauce is a fluid substance, I thought it would get swept out to the city sewer line with no problems. Doesn’t that seem like a realistic expectation?

I was wrong. It filled the P-trap, completely, and stopped right there.

“No problem,” I told myself. “It’s a fluid. I’ll push it through the P-trap with the plunger.”

Didn’t help. The mass must have cleared the P-trap and the vertical drop but filled and plugged the sewer line under the slab jut a few inches downstream. Seeing that the toilet water would not go through, I turned on the tub, full-hot, full-blast, thinking that the hot water would reach the goo and loosen it. (The tub sits just a few inches to the left of the toilet, and its drain drops into the sewer line a few inches upstream from the toilet drop.) But the tub began filling up, too!

My efforts with the plunger, coupled with the additional weight of hot water from the tub, were not enough to move the mass down towards the lateral (the municipal sewer line at the street).

Mama’s toilet, shower stall, and sink are located only about 10 inches upstream from the hall bathroom where this drama was unfolding. I had to solve this problem fast before she had to flush her toilet or take a shower. So, I alerted everyone in the house: “Don’t flush the toilets or take a shower until further notice,” I told them. Then I rushed off to Home Depot to get some high-powered drain cleaner, preferably something containing a high concentration of sodium hydroxide.

Back at the house, armed with two bottles of Zep crystals, I poured one and a half bottles into the toilet, and the remaining half bottle into the tub drain.

If you predicted—as did I—that the sodium hydroxide would dissolve the tartar sauce, liquify it thoroughly, and allow it to slip away, you were wrong—as was I. Instead of moving out and away, it converted itself into a dark-colored mass that was apparently much larger than the original white mass! It even started backing up into the toilet, the tub, and mama’s shower stall. It didn’t smell particularly bad, not at all like normal dark-colored sewage. So that was a good thing. The only good thing.

Well, I had no other option than to drag my $350 drain snake and a fifty-foot extension cord out of the shed, drag them to the front yard, set up the snake at the clean-out plug, plug it in, and start snaking.

It was 108° in North Central Texas that day, and my scalp and forehead were stinging intensely from a powerful exfoliant the dermatologist had ordered me to use (a cancer prophylactic). I felt physically miserable. But, at the same time, I felt strangely exhilarated.

Within about 15 minutes I had the sub-slab sewer line running freely. Before snaking, I had filled both the tub and shower stall with hot water, and it all came gushing out after the snake broke through the “dam”.

But the part I always dread came next: retracting the snake, which is always coated with ugly “archaeological” findings.

However, this time I had one of my famous “Duh!” moments. “Why not keep the water running in both the tub and shower and run the garden hose down into the clean-out pipe, parallel to the snake, and turn it on full blast, too!? That should clean the snake as I pull it out.”

In short, I did, and it did.

I love solving problems. I love the sensation of personal power that solving them gives me.

So that’s my story. I hope you enjoyed it.



 Biker Trash

Biker Trash


Well it's been quite some time since Deb and I have been able to take a nice leisurely ride on the motorcycle. But after the previous evening’s event we really needed to get out and forget about it and just enjoy the day with some good friends. The ride destination this time was out to the Desert View Tower near Jacumba, CA. Although we’ve been there multiple times over the years, it’s always fun to go see it again and the ride as fantastic. If you’re looking for an excuse for a good ride to get out of the city… this is a good place to go visit.

For any of you who don't already know, I started on a new adventure April 2, 2018. A dear friend of ours had been asking me for months to submit a resume to the company where he works and so I finally did. Then next thing I knew I was being interviewed and then offered a possition! For the first time in my entire working life I seem to have gotten into a company that not only preaches "Team Work"... but really means just exactly that. It's turning out to be the best place I have ever worked. Yesterday they held an "Employee Appreciation Day" where they seved up BBQ'd hamburgers and hotdogs... and lot of good converstation.

Just a few photos from the event... sure was a lot of fun...