A new chapter in our lives.



So, I was finally able to get out of one of the most stressful jobs I’ve ever had. It was a great job at first, but then came the merger and then the investment company and it all went downhill after that. The last two years with that company were the worst. The new job I was offered was in Greenville Texas, taking over a facility as Systems Administrator, thanks to a dear friend of mine, Richard, who works as the Senior Systems Administrator at our headquarters in San Diego. Now we’re all settled into a house we found to lease thanks to a local Realtor, Rebecca, who my older brother had put us in contact with. She worked diligently to find something within our budget, provided the virtual tours of each location until we settled on the one we’re in now.

Although we had never heard of Greenville Texas, we did a lot of research in what little time we had before the move, and we fell in love right away. Although growing rather quickly, it’s a nice quiet area with a LOT of friendly people. We’re so thankful to be out of that horrible state of California and back to a part of the country that still believes in Freedom and Liberty. The only things we’re going to miss are the weather and riding the back country, but that’s a very small price to pay.

We’re still exploring the area but found a local church, Bethlehem Missionary Baptist Church, that welcomed us into the family right off.  We were invited by a local barber I had found (Deano's Barber Shop), and we're really happy that he did. We’ve also been exploring local activities, the most recent being ‘Date Night’ at Municipal Auditorium. Deb’s been keeping up on the local calendar of events, watching for things that might be fun to do.

All being said and done, this has been turning out to be one of the best things we’ve ever done.


Our mother has passed from this earth.

 On the morning of February 8'th of 2022, my brother Nathan notified me that our mother had taken her last breath. I was just starting to work a support request by one of the company's clients when the message came through on my cell phone. Although I knew this was coming, it of course hit me really hard. I notified Dispatch that I needed to get away from the computer and ultimately took the remainder of the day and the week away from work. Naturally, the past three days have been exceedingly difficult and the overwhelming grief has been coming in waves. It's slowly subsiding now though but as anyone who has lost of loved one knows, the pain never really goes away.

In 2008, February 23'rd my father had passed away. I was fortunate enough at the time to cover the flight to Houghton Michigan for my brother Todd and myself so we could be with him this one last time. I'm extremely grateful to have been with him as he passed from this earth and that I was able to speak with him, tell him how much I loved him and how I appreciated all that he had taught me about life.

My wonderful wife Debra had already lost both of her parents over the years, first her father and then her mother several years after. Although I deeply understand the loss of loved ones, I've learned that losing one's parents is different. It seems to make one feel alone and lost in the world. Although Debra has been my anchor through all of this, I can now completely understand how she's felt since the loss of her mother.

In November of 2021, we decided to to take a road-trip to Irving Texas so I could see my mother one last time. I'm so thankful that we were able to do so and will never forget it. At first, my mother didn't know who I was, then she thought she was hallucinating. Once she realized what was going on she just kept asking “You came call the way here just for me?” … at times with tears in her eyes. My brother Nathan took this picture the day before we had to leave for home and I’ll always cherish it. This is how I will remember her.

We Didn't Have the "Green Thing" Back In My Day

We Didn't Have the "Green Thing" Back In My Day


In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, we didn't have the "green thing" back in my day.

That's right, they didn't have the "green thing" in her day. Back then, they returned their milk bottles, Coke bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, using the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But they didn't have the "green thing" back in her day.

In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300- horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks. But she's right. They didn't have the "green thing" in her day.

Back then, they washed the baby's diapers because they didn't have the throw-away kind? They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.? But that old lady is right, they didn't have the "green thing" back in her day.

Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a pizza dish, not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric machines to do everything for you. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used wadded up newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right, they didn't have the "green thing" back then.

They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty, instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled pens with ink, instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But they didn't have the "green thing" back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar and kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint. But that old lady is right. They didn't have the "green thing" back in her day. Gee!!! That was MY day too!


Mama is resigned to death

Dear all:

I am watching mama give up almost all of her connections to the world around her, having been forced to conclude that the nearly global rejection and abandonment that she has been condemned to is both final and ineluctable. Several weeks ago, she looked at me with the saddest countenance and said, 'I can hardly believe that this is how my life is ending.'

She sleeps almost all the time, getting up only for short periods to watch something on TV, such as 'Downton Abby', and to receive the only guests who care enough to visit her (only people whom I myself invite to come and see her--nobody else will take the initiative), her in-house physical therapist Robi James, or--also quite rarely--a visiting nurse from New Hope Home Care. 

The reason she sleeps most of the time is because she is desperately hoping she will die in her sleep.

My care is falling short, too. Earlier this week, she stripped her bedding to be laundered. It took me two days to get it put back on her bed. When I apologized, she replied, 'I don't care anymore whether or not the bed is made.'

Resignation in a nutshell.

This a truthful report--nothing more and nothing less. In this case, a truthful report must, of necessity, include pathos. So be it. I will not lie or candy-coat reality. React to this any way you want. Accuse me (falsely) of emotional manipulation, if you will. This is reality.