I’ve been ‘voluntarily’ quarantined by the County Health Officer. Apparently, a close family member has been hospitalized and tested positive for Covid-19. Unfortunately, this family member dimed me out to the County Health Officer. The county called me to obtain more information and inform me that I must self-quarantine. They sent the self-quarantine information, Covid resource information and the County Health Officer’s Quarantine Order to my e-mail address. I received this call while in the work breakroom, getting ready to clock in for the work day. PANIC ensued when I went to the office to inform them. Here’s my Quarantine Diary.

Q-0: My first day of quarantine will be Day Zero. Went straight home and checked supplies. Fortunately, I have 14 cases of water (40-count, half liter), 20 cases of toilet paper (36 roll count), and a pony keg of beer. I should be set. Saw that I would need a few minor things like bread, eggs, cheese, other edibles, and debated about going out to get them. Instead, I ordered on-line and had them delivered to my front door (you know – contactless). Had a few beers and watched some Netflix.

Q-1: I swear I heard a rooster early (5am) in the morning. Being in the city, it was probably a dream. Spent all day cleaning inside the house. Spraying, wiping, dusting, vacuuming and laundering. The end result is a clean house and about $1.35 in change found in the couches and chairs. Also had a few beers and watched Netflix.

Q-2: Early morning crowing again? Must be a dream. Bathed the dogs and started on cleaning the yard. Cleaned the fountains, but one of the pumps died (can’t go out to get a new one – home delivery costs too much and will arrive after my 14 day sentence anyway). Noted a couple of repair projects that should be done but can’t go out to get the materials. Had a few beers, took a nap, and watched Netflix.

Q-3: Thought I heard crowing during the early morning hours, but chalked it up too many beers and watching Netflix late into the night. Experimented with making eggs over-easy (which turned into scrambled) for breakfast. Realized I really suck at cooking. Burned burgers for lunch, and scorched soup for dinner. Determined I will most likely need to start ordering fast food delivery (don’t worry – it’s all contactless now) or lose weight while consuming my culinary disasters. I’ve decided to keep experimenting with cooking. Had a few beers, took a nap, and watched Netflix.

Q-4: Early morning crowing again? Got up and went outside, but didn’t find anything. Still cooking and gagging down the results, but only breakfast and dinner. Thinking about finishing the yard clean up. Had my last few beers, took several naps and watched Netflix.

Q-5: Thought I heard early morning crowing, but I’m most likely mistaken. This is the city. Gave up on cooking for the day. Made a sandwich for lunch. No beer but decided not to violate the quarantine. Apparently, Uber-Eats does not deliver beer. Maybe they should start Uber-Drinks during this pandemic. Took even more naps, and watched Netflix late into the night.

Q-6: Woke up late and don’t remember hearing any early morning crowing. Called family and wiped my phone down after (as instructed by Jared) to prevent transmission of the virus. Had toast with peanut butter. Took an afternoon nap, woke up, watched Netflix, and then took another nap. Woke up late at night and watched Netflix. Last I saw was 2am on the clock.

Q-7: Vaguely remember some crowing early in the morning. Fate has intervened! The hospital called to inform me that my family member was ready for discharge but must be quarantined for seven more days (in my home or a county mandated motel). They also stated I was authorized to pick him up (breaking my quarantine) if I would agree to participate in an experimental Covid testing protocol (swab of nasal passages – no injections of cleaning chemicals – as speculated by Jared’s kin). Being the civic minded person that I am, I agreed (and made a stop at the local liquor store that also happens to have contactless curbside pickup). So…had a few beers, and watched Netflix.

Q-8: Got up early (5am) due to a rooster constantly crowing. I now realize it’s been around for quite some time. Not sure why I’m just now getting annoyed. Thought about cleaning the yard and house but watched Netflix instead. No beers today.

Q-9: Up early again (damn rooster). Did some laundry, ate some frozen meals I found. Had a beer and watched Netflix.

Q-10: Another early morning (I’m beginning to hate that rooster). It was physically in my yard crowing, but left when the dogs went outside. Noticed the rooster moves about the neighborhood but no one seems to claim him. Apparently, my dogs are afraid of him (but not the postman) so they’re no help. Saw more work that needs to be done in the yard but I’ll need a couple of items. It’ll have to wait. Ordered 450 degree contactless pizza, drank a couple of beers, watched Netflix.

Q-11: Up early AGAIN! I despise that rooster. Went outside and looked around but couldn’t find him. He was not crowing while I was outside, but did crow every time I went back inside. I think he’s evil. Burned some toast, played with my frightened dogs, stayed up late binge watching the latest season of Arrow on Netflix, ate cold pizza but didn’t have any beer.

Q-12: Another early morning. Thank you Mr. Rooster. You must die. Supplies are getting low but I only have a few more days of quarantine. I can make it. Then it’s back to work and freely roaming the neighborhood to find that rooster. Found more frozen meals, had a couple of beers, and watched more Netflix.

Q-13: Once more, another 5am morning thanks to that insidious and infernal ‘Stephen King / Dean Koontz’ Rooster. He’s going to be dinner if I can get my hands around his neck. Set a snare last night with some corn kernels. This morning, the snare was tripped, kernels gone, but no rooster. I know he’s taunting me. Fortunately, I noticed other neighbors up and about this morning looking around for him. Maybe someone will get lucky and take him out of our collective misery. Made a couple of meals –not too bad- watched a lot of Netflix, and had a couple of beers.

Q-14: Slept late – no rooster. Got up happy and actually looking forward to returning to work. No sniffles, coughing, fever or other signs of the virus. Called my employer to remind them I’m at the end of quarantine with no adverse results. They asked for two more days, then I can come back. I think I’ll spend this last day saying good bye to my family member (it’s really time for them to go home), cleaning around the house, washing my truck, sitting outside and avoiding Netflix.

This entire experience made me think about what took place in the ‘Middle/Dark Ages’ with the black death (bubonic plaque). Did they practice social distancing, chronic hand washing, masking faces, and listening to knowledgeable advice from the King, his Son-In-Law, and Official Plaque Council? Interestingly, I haven’t heard that damn rooster recently. Maybe someone else found him.

PS! It’s been two more days since ending quarantine, putting me at day 16. I’ve returned to work (I work late into the night). Unfortunately, the damn rooster is back!