Millennials have now created, excepted and promoted car services trademarked as Sidecar (little known), Lyft (supposedly more user friendly) and Uber (ubiquitously known by all throughout the world) as the ultimate 21st Century ‘Climate Change’ friendly alternatives to ‘destructive and selfish’ personal vehicle and mass transportation usage.  Naturally, I wanted to do my part to fight our current Climate Change Crisis and market a viable GIA friendly transportation alternative for my fellow uneducated, white-trash, redneck beings.

   As we’re not too Tech-Savy or educated (except when it comes to the use of smart phones), the service had to be relatively easy.  Thus, it would charge one 6-pack of beer or one pack of cigarettes per 10-miles of travel.  Our vehicles would be required to conform to redneck standards for client comfort and be smoker friendly.  The vehicles would need to be manufactured by General Motors, Chevrolet, Ford or Dodge instead of foreign crap (e.g., Toyota, Mitsubishi, Honda, etc.).  Use of my car service would obviously promulgate US jobs and strengthen our economy.

   My new car service would be designed to refocus our youth’s concern for the economy of our own country.  Our marketing would be geared toward promoting MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!  Think of it.  Affordable American transportation that would utilize American products (thereby generating American jobs) instead of dollars.  Drivers could register any vehicle for the service, as long as it was from an American Automotive Manufacturer.  Our slogan would be, “Keep America Riding American Again!”

   What to name my new car service?  Obviously, Sidecar references a motorcycle contraption OR that you have a car besides your regular transportation.  Lyft is a catchy reference to getting a ‘Lift’ from a friend.  Uber is supposedly a German word for ‘the ultimate’.  How the hell is an uneducated, white-trash, redneck supposed to compete with these college kids for a name?  The beer/cigs cost would obviously resonate, but a marketable name was still required.  After many days/nights (and consumption of beers and cigarettes) it was obvious.  HITCH (short for Hitchhike) was the answer.  Download the Hitch App, call a vehicle for beer/cigs rather than dollars, and you’re on your way!

  Again, drivers could register as long as their vehicle was USA built and closely resembled our perfect vehicle (see attached photo).  The only flaw in my vision is that I have no money.  I have trade-marked my plan name.  I just need financial backers.  Perhaps someone is willing to invest in order to recoup the benefits of Red Neck Intra-City travel.  Once again, see below for HICTH’s paradigm ‘On-Call’ vehicle.

 

 RedNeckTransport